Year in Review, Part 3: Stuff

This is just for fun, as I reminisce about all the last-minute planning I was doing a year ago, trying to figure out what we needed to have on hand.

Looking back, I'm actually very glad that the home we brought Lea to on her first day of life was a one-bedroom apartment, so we had no nursery to fill with things that might have seemed necessary at the time. It was sort of sad to not be able to decorate, but I'm guessing that it saved us a lot of money because we had to be really intentional with the space we had, which meant, among other things, no cushy "glider" or any other furniture. (Although, one of those gliders would be lovely, of course.)

I've been meaning for a while to reflect on the stuff of Lea's babyhood, what we've needed, what we haven't, what has been surprisingly useful or useless, and what I would recommend without reservation to anyone with a new baby. So here goes.

First of all, what are the bare necessities?

-You've got to feed the baby, so breasts or bottles/formula. I was lucky to have phenomenal breastfeeding support, so nursing started to go well pretty early. All I needed was a nursing pillow (the big brands are Boppy and the cringe-worthy "My Brest Friend" pillows. I liked the Boppy because it seemed more versatile and was prettier). If you're nursing, I also recommend buying a bunch of bottles of Gatorade and leaving them on every surface near every chair you might find yourself feeding the baby. In those earliest days, I would always get horribly thirsty as soon as we started. Then I'd be stuck with nothing to drink. The Gatorade was so satisfying to my exhausted post-partum self.

-Diapers and wipes. Don't get a ton of diapers in one size; buy one small pack of preemie size and one small pack of newborn size. When you get the baby home, open the N pack. If they're too big, then open the P pack. If not, leave the P's unopened and have somebody return them for you, and bring you some ice cream with the refunded money. Pampers Swaddlers are pricey but practically failsafe. I think it's worth it for those first weeks when everything is so new. You want to have diapers you don't have to worry about. (And, psst, even though we're cloth diapering in the daytime now, Lea still wears disposables at night, and her tiny butt still fits in the largest size Swaddlers. So we splurge on those since we only use one a day at this point.)

-Clothes. You're probably going to be doing a lot of laundry no matter what. I can't remember why, but we did laundry almost every day (towels and sheets, I guess?). So we did fine with just 4 or 5 good footed sleepers. Then after about a week, as it became clear what kinds of garments worked well, and what size we should buy, we went out and got some more clothes.

-A place for the baby to sleep. Lots of new parents I know keep their newborns right in the bed with them, but we discovered early on that Lea highly preferred having her own space for sleeping. Still, it was easiest if she was right next to me for nighttime feedings, so we set up a Pack-n-Play right beside the bed. This was pretty perfect. We kept her there for four months.

-A carseat. Pretty much the only thing I wouldn't buy used. We found the "baby bucket" style (which clicks in and out of the base, installed in your car, pretty easily) to be a good bet for a winter baby. We could get her all bundled into it indoors and transport her to the car, click her in, and not have to fuss with a lot of cumbersome outerwear. The downside to this is that it gets outgrown, usually well before you can turn the baby forward-facing, so you'll have to replace it with another, larger infant seat.

Not necessary, but I highly recommend:

-A sling. For newborns, I recommend the affordable and cozy Moby Wrap. It might look complicated, but it's really not so bad. This will allow you to get the baby all snug against your chest, where he/she will probably fall asleep, giving you the opportunity to do dishes, laundry, go get the mail, or just get up and move around on your feet for a while. Plus, it's great to take out in public when you're ready to do that. I've also heard really good reviews of some pouch-style slings (which just go over one shoulder instead of both), such as the Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch. This never worked for us because Lea liked to be upright, so the Moby was the way to go. (Plus, there's a way to cradle the baby in a wrap much like a pouch would do anyway. Basically, a wrap has a learning curve but is ridiculously versatile). The only downside to a Moby is that it's very stretchy, so once your baby hits a certain weight, it doesn't work as well. If you want to keep wrapping, you'll want to look for a woven, non-stretchy wrap. Which brings me to the other downside of the Moby, which is that it's kind of a gateway drug to the world of gorgeous, cozy, designer baby-carriers. Which I covet. Embarrassingly so. I've never been a clothes person, but man, I drool over, for example, the German-style Didymos Simon wrap. (For the record, I have been pretty successful at reigning in my lust for these things, and have only purchased one woven wrap, used.) The reason this method is so comfortable is because the baby's weight is not hanging off you; it's bound to your chest, and distributed evenly across the shoulders. It actually feels not much different than pregnancy. In fact, that's kind of the rationale for baby-wearing; "nine in, nine out" is the rallying cry of the baby-wearing "movement," if there is such a thing-- the idea being that gestation sort of extends throughout infancy, and babies benefit from being held close to their parents for much of that first year and beyond. It's also great in the winter. I never worry that Lea is cold if I have her wrapped onto me.

-A breast pump. Pumping is a total chore, but it's good to try to build up a stash of frozen milk. I wouldn't recommend trying to start until breastfeeding is well established, though, because it can be frustrating and demoralizing. ("A half an ounce? In twenty-five minutes?") It's important to remember that the baby is more efficient at getting the milk out. Anyway, I found the Avent Isis hand pump to be pretty user-friendly and simple.

-Some kind of baby "container," even if you're co-sleeping. I just think it's important to be able to have an absolutely safe place to leave the baby for a minute or two if you need to. For a newborn, a garage-sale bouncy seat can serve this purpose without taking a lot of space. For an older baby, you might do well with an Exersaucer (also easy to find at garage sales).

-Cloth diapers. Seriously, this is a million times easier than it sounds. We got started when Lea was about four months old, with the assistance of jilliansdrawers.com, who offer a "Try Cloth for $10" program. You pay a deposit and they send you a variety of highly-rated modern cloth diapers-- no pins or plastic pants!-- and you try it all out for two weeks and send back what you don't want. They'll refund your deposit minus $10 and the cost of anything you keep. Through this system, we discovered Fuzzi Bunz, which are just as easy to use as disposable diapers. Fuzzi Bunz are a "pocket diaper," which means they have a waterproof outer layer, a fleece-y inner layer, and a slot in the back where you can stuff an absorbent insert in between the layers. Easy peasy. Landfill friendly. We just wash and dry them at home every third day. This has already saved us a good chunk of money. (It's an investment at first, to be sure, but we broke even months ago.)

Things we never, or almost never, used:

-Specialized burp cloths and changing pad covers. We just used old towels for both of these purposes.

-The swing. Luckily, this was a hand-me-down. Lea never liked being in it, so it just never got used.

-Most of the cute blankets we got as gifts. If you decide to swaddle your baby, and your baby is on the bigger side, the flannel receiving blankets you typically get will not be big enough, so you'll need to find a larger blanket (or two) anyway. Other than that, blankets didn't serve much of a purpose for us. Lea is just now sleeping with a blanket over her for most of the night, and most experts advise against putting them in cribs at all.

-In the very beginning, socks. Socks just didn't stand a chance. So anything with built-in feet was much preferred.

-Microwave steam sterilizer for bottle and pump parts. We just washed this stuff by hand or in the dishwasher.

-Baby bathtub. We used it a few times very early on, but it quickly became easiest to just take Lea into the big tub with one of us.

Things we never had, and didn't miss:

-A jogging stroller. We actually just got one on loan while a friend's family lives abroad for six months, and it's nice, but not even close to necessary for a non-jogger (don't laugh; I know plenty of people who have gotten them just because it seems like something you're supposed to have).

-A Diaper Genie or anything similar. We just use regular trashcans and empty them frequently.

-A mirror to put behind the carseat.

-A second carseat base, for which Babies 'R Us implored us to reconsider. This is a total racket; the carseat can go in any car, base or not. It takes thirty extra seconds to get it belted in, but 49.99 for an extra base is just foolishness.


Things that are useful but I mostly just love them because they're fun:

-Babylegs.

Legwarmers for babies. Painfully cute. A great extra warm layer on the legs without an extra step for diaper changes. Also, useful anytime of year with a crawling baby (especially if you have cheap carpet, which can tear up those sweet little knees). This might be one of my favorite things about motherhood. Legwarmers! For babies! Sigh.

-Baby clothes by H&M. Really well made, durable, and simple designs (solid color onesies, pants, and the best heavy cotton tights I can find.) The other cool thing is that they tend to be cut with more room for cloth diapers. Some other brands are true to size on Lea except for her big cloth-covered booty.

-Books by Sandra Boynton. We're still in board book terrain-- Lea will destroy anything made of paper-- and Boynton's cute rhymes and illustrations are the winners so far.


I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but that's just what comes to mind right now. All in all, I feel like we've done a decent job at thinking critically about what is actually necessary, with the very occasional splurge. Oh, and one last, probably obvious thing:

-A camera! Make sure it's easy to use, transport, and charge. Use frequently. If you're like me and never got into the picture- taking routine before, force yourself to get into it! It might seem like a hassle at times, but it's a good habit to establish. Now I just need to force myself into the craftiness habit and do something creative with all these pictures...