Monday, December 18, 2006

Here's what my life is looking like.





Actually, that's a fib. Lea is a squirmy one and does not typically like to be held like this for long. So when I do catch her at a sleepy moment when she will tolerate some cuddling, it is actually pretty fantastic and I remind myself to savor it like everyone says... because (like everyone says) I know she won't be tiny for long, and one day I will not be able to fathom that she ever was.

But yes-- most of the time, we find ourselves in other, less relaxing positions. Lea's favorite seems to be lying across my lap, secured by my forearm, while I bounce, vigorously, on the exercise ball. It is from this position that I have recently watched some pretty regrettable TV: most recently, the Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap re-make. (Side note: if I didn't know that Lindsay's parents were of the Total Wackjob order, I might watch that movie thinking of them and how it is probably hard for them to fathom now that she was ever that small and sweet and harmless. And, oh yeah, side side note: I only know that the elder Lohans are crazy because the stressful/terminally boring end of my pregnancy invited far more celebrity-gawking than in my normal life).

I have decided without much deliberation that the very best daytime tv comes to us courtesy of Ellen DeGeneres. But, it's a long day until 3pm, and pregnancy/delivery/baby shows on Discovery Health or TLC no longer appeal to me the way they did when this whole thing was such a mystery. Now that the kid actually exists, I don't have to turn to sappy shows to get my fix of baby-gazing. That's a pretty nice upgrade, I have to say. But there's also something kind of sad about those shows, because being pregnant was such a crazy, unique, intimate time for me and sometimes I (dare I say it?) miss it. People were just fantastically friendlier and more courteous when I was pregnant. I felt really special. Now I'm just a regular person again. With an irregular amount of belly fat.