To all of you who had the pleasure of hearing me blather on about starting a midwifery apprenticeship this fall: never mind. The midwife in question, the only one I have found who's working in this region, can't take on a second apprentice after all.
Now how am I ever going to find out if baby-catching is a suitable line of work for me?
In case you missed it, here's why it was going to be awesome:
-Extremely part time. The idea was, I would start my apprenticeship by attending the prenatal appointments of just one or two women, starting from their very first monthly appointment. That's, what, maybe 6 hours a month (including transportation) for the first 5 months or so.
-The chance to see the process from start to finish, beginning as a spectator, then learning how to do basic things like take blood pressure, then eventually working up to doing internal checks, then finally attending a birth (again, just as a spectator). After a few of these, I could start attending births as an assistant.
-The opportunity to figure out if birthwork is something I can actually see myself doing. From there, I would have started applying to RN programs, which is the first step to becoming a CNM (certified nurse-midwife).
Ah well. I just can't feature going ahead with the pursuit of an RN until I have some sense that helping a woman through her pregnancy and delivery is something I am well suited to. And thus, the gigantic question mark of What is Next in my Life remains gigantic.
Oh, and also sucktastic: Lea has a cold. She is the picture of a snot-nosed little kid, actively trying to lick the boogers out of her own nose. She's not sleeping well, she's super fussy, and she's barely eating.
I am about ready to jump out of my skin here.
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6 comments:
Well, help is on the way - Mimi will be on hand to soothe Mama and baby in any way possible.
I think you should go for it; I can't see any way in which you wouldn't be suited for it, even if you would be going into the RN program blindly! I've never heard you talk so enthusiastically about anything the way you do about birth-related stuff.
Eric says: Except for Brian. And Lea.
myles has a yucky cold too. I think i'm half insane for lack of sleep...it's unbelievable that a common cold can throw such a wrench in things but I am totally feeling your pain!
Hugs! I wish life were easy and that you could do this without taking risks... but apparently that is not how it is going to happen!
Sometimes when I do not know what to do, I just take a step in whatever direction I think has the best chance of working out. Sure, it might be blind, but at least it is motion, and it gets you closer to really knowing, right?
I love you.
Happy Birthday, (tomorrow)!
Aaaaand happy birthday. I think. Cuz I missed it. I suck.
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