I have learned...

...that May-July is a very much worse time to be in your first trimester of pregnancy than February-April is.

In 2006, aside from being bowled over by shock (and ok, terrified and sometimes, if I'm being honest, devastated at the prospect of life changing so much so quickly, so unexpectedly), early pregnancy was not too bad. I had morning sickness, but it stayed true to its definition and usually faded by 10am. I gained weight quickly, but not terribly so. I had extreme (to the point of tears and angry cussing at Brian) late-night hunger, but only for about a week. It was late winter, early spring. I worked at a very casual job where it was perfectly ok to take breaks, to eat snacks, to go easy on myself.

This time, my "morning" sickness has been so bad it has required medication, and I'm still having occasional days of all-day sickness at nearly 15 weeks. I've gained an astonishing amount of weight-- really-- it's crazy. (How does that happen when one is throwing up all the time?) My crying, cussing, midnight hunger-fest went on for nearly a month and I still get it from time to time. It is HOT. Disgustingly hot sometimes. My job, while casual, does not afford many breaks. And when I try to eat a snack, there tends to be a little 20-month-old trying to climb me like a tree saying "Try it? Try it? Eat some?" Nevermind that she won't eat anything I actually suggest. But if I'm dipping a slice of bell pepper in some hummus, here she comes, begging for some like it's FunDip.

But, I am optimistic. I am firmly in the second trimester, and it's all starting to seem more like a pregnancy than a hangover. The little heartbeat is thumpthumpthumping at 160ish beats a minute pretty consistently. Lea is in a wonderfully charming and funny stage, and I can actually envision her becoming a big sister (it's weird to imagine that at the age Lea is now, my brother was only 8 weeks or so away from becoming a big brother to me-- I admit I'm glad to get another four months of her maturation process). I think we're on the verge of figuring out a way to have the baby at a birth center, which is like a dream come true. It's fun to think about all the uniqueness of pregnancy-- I never minded attention from strangers, and in particular treasure the memory of being at the movie theater and an old man saying, "Whoa! When are you due?" It gave me great pleasure to smile and say, "Tomorrow!" and watch him inwardly freak out. I loved not finding out the sex of the baby, and just wondering. I loved going to prenatal appointments toward the end, when it all felt so real, and doing prenatal yoga.

I love the thought of becoming a family of four. Nevermind the fact that it's all happening probably 5 years before we expected it to. I'll figure out the rest of my life when it gets here. For now, I am loving being a mama and a mama-to-be, and very grateful for all the support I'm getting along the way.

By the way, the due date is approximately 1.20.09. Inauguration day. I hope to be having a LOT to celebrate that day.